April 4, 2006 We have had Nick, out cat, for many years. Jen adopted him before we were married. He is at least 15 years old, but perhaps older.

Nick has been sick, and we are doing everything we can to fix the problem. Initially I was worried that he had a hairball obstruction, so we took him to the vet. Today we found out that he had "old kidneys," a tooth infection, and needs surgery. He also needs special food.

Nick hasn't defecated for at least 3 days. Tomorrow he will go back to the vet for X-rays to see if he has an obstruction or is just not eating because of his teeth.

I work from home, so Nick is more than just a pet. He is my daily companion, and he pays attention to things and lets me know when I otherwise would just be busy. He is, more than any person could be, my best friend. He is also Jen's best friend, waking her up when she doesn't pay attention to her alarm and comforting her when she needs it.

The expenses of making Nick better are worth it. I hope he will be better, and back to his perky self. We won't really know until the 25th when he has dental surgery.

April 6, 2007 Nick started eating again on Wednesday night, so the vet said it wasn't necessary to bring him in yet. Over the next few days, I minced cooked pork chops for him which he gladly ate. Even so, he still wasn't defecating and by Friday his abdomen had become extended. I was worried that he had a bowel obstruction. I called the vet, and they said to bring him in at 5PM.

We got everything together and made it to the vet at 5:05. They took Nick's stats, which were fine, and he paced around the room while we waited. The vet came back and prodded his guts, said his bowels felt fine, but that he was uncomfortable during the exam and an X-ray was needed.

Eventually Nick crapped and peed in his carrier, so we were happy. We thought we could take him home, since everything was going to be fine. We only had to wait for the X-ray results to come back. Since we were just waiting, I went to the store for groceries. I was gone less than 30 minutes, but when I got back Jen was pacing the reception room. Apparently Nick had gone into shock and was on oxygen and an IV. That was 6:41PM.

The vet showed us the X-ray, and the news was bad. When he was in shock, his blood oxygen and other stats had plummeted. The X-ray showed a large abdominal mass near his stomach and liver. They had taken an abdominal fluid sample and found blood mixed with it, which indicated a tumor that had burst. Between the fluid and X-ray, he had any of four conditions that he would not live through without emergency surgery. Only one of those conditions was treatable, with a stay at the vet for 7-14 days, but it was unlikely he would even survive anesthesia. Even his best chances for surviving the treatable condition were 25% if he was in better health. Apparently he was in a great deal of pain, as indicated by the previous abdominal exam. Even if he was in better health for surgery his chances were only 6.25%.

Jen asked if he could come home to die. I asked if the vet could come to our home to put him to sleep. The vet insisted that the best thing for him was for the situation to be dealt with then, since he was in such poor condition and in pain. We had no choice but to euthanize him.

Jen signed the papers and they brought him to us, still attached to the IV, to say goodbye. I held him on the exam table, leaning over him with my arms circling him, the way he often liked when I was reading magazines in bed. We pet him and he fell asleep. The vet came in and gave him the shots. Nick stopped breathing within a minute and was gone within three. Nick was packed into a cardboard "coffin" to take him home. It was all over by 7:40PM.

I wasn't prepared for Nick to be gone. We took him there thinking he was curable, and less than three hours later he was gone from our lives.

If I had known this was Nick's last day, I would not have worked today — and instead would have spent every second with him.

April 7, 2007 In the afternoon we drove to my parents house to bury Nick. We decided to include some things with him, a little like the ancient Egyptians, trying to give him the things he might need on the other side. He got two magazines to lay on, a pair of my old shoes to smell (for his shoe fetish), a plastic Easter egg to play with (he loved them), and some hair clippings from both of us (because he loved to groom our hair).

We miss him.